


The Last Four Months

by Nutriyum_Addict



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Christmas, Death, F/M, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Marriage, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:31:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5587822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nutriyum_Addict/pseuds/Nutriyum_Addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is really sad. I am really sorry. </p>
<p>Enjoy the first part, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Four Months

It’s the day after Christmas and she’s waiting for him.

Waiting for Ben to finish up in the shower and get his cute little butt downstairs and meet her in the living room for breakfast. And also, engage in some serious couch-cuddling because miraculously, their thirteen and a half month old triplets are still asleep and there will be time to eat and make-out and talk about things besides baby poop and college funds.

But also _mmmmmmm-cinnamon rolls_. And _mmmmmmm-Ben_ , all warm from the shower and still probably a bit sleepy.

When he finally makes his appearance in his worn jeans, t-shirt, and a hoodie, his hair still damp from the shower, she jumps off the couch and launches herself at her unsuspecting husband.

“I missed you!” Leslie says, as she throws her arms around him.

She really did miss him. It’s only been a few minutes but it seems like forever since she last touched him.

Ben laughs even as he hugs her close. “Babe, I was just taking a shower. You could have joined me, you know.”

“I know.” She was tempted to, of course, but Leslie wanted to get breakfast ready–the cinnamon rolls and the coffee laid out on the table and cue up a movie on the DVD player.

Ben frowns slightly when he sees their post-Christmas morning feast.

“Is someone coming over?”

“What?”

“There’s like…a dozen cinnamon rolls. Are we having company or–-”

“No. It’s just us,” she confirms, taking his hand.

“Alright. Sure. This is an appropriate amount of food for that,” he responds with a nod, but lets her lead him to the sofa despite his apparent confusion over the number of pastries.

When he smiles, she can see the small lines in his face by his eyes, but other than that, he looks so young–all thick hair, warm eyes, and lazy day-off wardrobe.

It’s right when she’s snuggling against him that she smells it. It’s a spicy and sweet scent, just like a batch of freshly baked oatmeal cookies. She sniffs again, right up close in the crook of his neck and…yep, it’s Ben.

“Oh, wow,” she tells him excitedly. “You smell exactly like oatmeal cookies.”

“Yeah. It’s the new soap you put in my stocking, you goofball.”

“Oh my god! You smell so good!” Cinnamon rolls forgotten, she licks and kisses his neck in earnest, pushing the hoodie and t-shirt out of the way. He doesn’t taste like cookies, but even better–just like Ben always tastes when she puts her mouth on him.

“The soap is a little strong, so I’m not sure I’ll use it everyday, but definitely on the weekends. Especially if it makes you do this,” he adds with a laugh.

She pulls back to look at him. “You’re like a warm cookie-husband.”

“Yes,” Ben agrees, grinning as she moves closer to straddle his lap. “I am.”

* * * * * * *

For the briefest of moments, when Leslie first wakes up, she can still smell oatmeal cookies and feel Ben’s warmth surrounding her.

But when she opens her eyes fully and looks over, of course his side of the bed is still empty and now cuddled up next to her, is a little five year-old boy.

Stephen must have had a nightmare about the sock monster again, Leslie figures. She and Ben will have to sing the sock monster song tonight to keep it away, but…as she strokes the golden brown hair, Leslie notices how old her hand looks and also, that this isn’t Stephen at all. Stephen is all grown up and probably downstairs with everyone else.

This is Tyler, her and Ben’s youngest grandson. He was a surprise for everyone–-especially Sonia who was forty-three at the time and apparently having her own smaller, but still effective going out of business sale.

Right. It’s the day after Christmas and her family is downstairs and she’s up here napping, because she doesn’t know what else to do with herself lately.

Besides miss Ben like crazy and think about him all the time.

In the three months since he’s been gone, she’s rotated back and forth between sleeping too much to not sleeping at all. But this afternoon was different. This was a dream-filled nap of old memories and comfort and Ben, so real it almost takes her breath away.

Not for the first time in the last ninety-plus days, Leslie wonders if your heart is so incredibly broken, that maybe it’ll just stop working? She kind of hopes it will.

“Grandma?” The little boy whispers softly.

“Hmmm?” She looks down at the big brown eyes and softly pushes some hair off his face.

“I miss grandpa.”

“Me too,” she answers quietly, hugging him tight.

* * * * * * *

The next time Leslie dreams vividly about Ben, it’s only a month or so later and she’s in her new bedroom in Sonia and Sam’s house.

The room is very nice and there are no stairs in the house, so she can get around fairly well. The space has serene blue hues, including Ben’s old plaid comforter on her brand new bed. She found it in a box while the kids helped her pack the old house up and she just couldn’t part with it, even though it’s almost fifty years old.

Tyler’s bedroom is just down the hall and Leslie has already taken to sneaking him extra cookies after dinner. It’s their little secret, although she’s pretty sure Sonia is starting to catch onto them.

In tonight’s dream when she’s with him, they’re both young again and nothing hurts. They're in the park, about to leave to start a new adventure in Washington DC. She’s running for governor but somewhere deep down, Leslie also knows that she already did that a long time ago, back when the kids were young and her health was good. She won and she and Ben raised a wonderful family, now complete with six grandchildren, and they had an amazing life together. But now, standing here with him, there’s something else that she needs to decide.

She can smell the fresh and familiar Pawnee air in the breeze and this time when he questions, “ _You ready, babe?_ ” she knows exactly what he’s asking. Leslie smiles and takes Ben's hand.

She’s ready.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was super PMSy when I wrote this and we had just seen my in-laws for the holidays. They are very healthy and active, but they are in their 70s, so I'm sure some of this came from that...


End file.
